My Own

by Meghan MacAskill

Sometimes I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because I have amazing camera equipment, 8 years of experience behind a camera, tons of knowledge on how to process images to make them look their best, the ability to find and use great light and awesome backgrounds to make incredible photos….and despite all that I don’t pick up my camera nearly often enough to document my own children.

It’s something that I am trying to work on. I guess it’s just hard to grab my camera when something happens. I usually want to enjoy and live in that moment instead of worrying about the lighting, which lens to use, what angle to shoot from. Sometimes I want to just watch. Just marvel at my children and how they are growing.

Still, my memory is not perfect. The moments I live in are good ones, but they fade and I forget. So I am trying. Trying to worry less about the hassle of getting my camera, less about the details of shooting a perfect picture, and less about editing the photos later. I’m trying to be a better photojournalist in the story of our life.

Today, I took pictures of my sweet Penny. She doesn’t do much these days but eat, sleep, and smile. But oh, how I adore her squashy rolls and her chunky cheeks! It may not seem like much, but this is what I want to remember from this stage in her life. Because when I look at these photos I want to remember how I used to hold her close and nuzzle her almost-bald head. I want to remember how adorable her chubby thighs were. I want to remember how my heart felt when her face broke into a huge grin.

It’s the simple things that make a beautiful photo, because it’s not the photo itself that is special, but how it makes you feel and what it makes you remember that is important.

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